Rust and Stardust

And I’m staying up trying to do homework and finish projects

For the longest time, up until about a few days ago, I felt like I was living life right. I have the best friends you can ask for, the best family – a good life in general. Who could complain? 

However, as talk about senior awards started and after flipping through the yearbook, I realized one big flaw in the way I lived day to day: I wasn’t really affecting the people around me. (Now let me tell you, as someone who tries to make her life seem as perfect as possible, this is hard to share: I received no nominations for senior awards and was barely in the yearbook. 1 to 2 pictures at best)

By now, most of you are probably snickering at my trivial problem. “Seriously? What the f-? Awards and Yearbooks? That’s how you’re judging your self-worth?”

And yeah, I honestly am. I never wanted to be someone that simply is, and lives life in her own box. I judge my self-worth by who I want to become. I want to be someone who pushes herself to be recognized for her abilities and affects those around her. Someone who actually changes the landscape, not leave a mere footprint. So in a sense, I’m excited for college, excited to recreate myself and be around people who don’t know my past. And after 4 years, I plan to be someone closer to who I want to become. 

you’re going to be the most pathetic thing ever